Saturday, June 2, 2012

Things That Are Trying to Kill You, Part One:  Teflon

Specifically, Teflon cookware.
Are we so afraid to scrub a pot that we would rather ingest foul-tasting toxic film with every meal?  Also, the scratches your cooking utensils gouge into the flimsy Teflon layer will harbor bacteria, mold, and allergens like wheat gluten.  In short, Teflon is trying to kill you.

There are alternatives.  People have been cooking in cast iron since the day it was discovered all those millenia ago. We have fashioned it into the lighter and more durable stainless steel.  And we have revived the very first cooking vessel: ceramic.  All of these are non-toxic cooking options that do not get gouges or peel.  You may be surprised to find out that they are incredibly low maintenance and durable!  Let's review.

Stainless steel pots are actually quite easy to clean.  Boiling water is fast an easy because steel is a metal and conducts heat very well when not layered with weird chemicals like Teflon.  Used as a skillet it must be greased in some fashion, and if forgotten on a skillet food will burn and leave a stain, but this is easily removed. Just spray the mark with oven cleaner and wait a day.  Then you can rinse with dish soap and the marks will wipe off easily.  If one application doesn't work, two or three will finish the job.  Oven cleaner is magical. Superficial scratches on steel do not harbor filth like the deep gouges that Teflon acquires.

If that still seems like too much work, get a ceramic pot.  Nothing sticks to ceramic.  It takes a wee bit longer to heat up, but it cooks very evenly and almost never burns the food.  Ceramic is a breeze to clean and you likely won't ever scratch it because you won't have to scrape anything off of it in the first place.

I just want to point out that I am writing this simply because I hate Teflon.  No one paid me anything, I just like ranting.  Speaking of ranting, it really should not be so hard to find a pangolin stuffed animal.  Pangolins are awesome.  Pangolins, for those who don't know, are real live animals that live in Asia and look like the pokemon sandshrew.

Maybe you saw me at Art-A-Whirl?  I forgot to say I would be there.  Shame on me.  But I will be at Minneapolis Zinefest this year!  You should go.